Just over three weeks ago and I sat alone in my apartment and watched the Emmy Awards. Sad? Maybe, but now I know what’s up with regards to this stuff. 
SOME COOL STUFF HAPPENED! Mad Men! Modern Family! Bryan Cranston! Aaron Paul! Jane Lynch! John Lithgow! Betty White! The Colbert Report Writers! In fact, most people I know walked away (and by “walked away” I mean “looked at the winners on the Internet”) pretty satisfied. It wasn’t a bad year, Emmys. You done good, but that’s not to say you’re off the chain. They don’t let me swear in these posts so let me just say, “you’ve sure ducked up some winners in the past.”
Now I’ll present the five biggest snubs in Emmy history! To clarify, I mean the world’s best shows, performances, or other credits that never even got a nomination. Talking about flat-out snubs would be too easy – can we just talk about Conan’s Tonight Show not walking away with the gold? Travesty! Literal (and I do mean literal, not the hyperbolic version of figurative) travesty!
1. The Wire – Outstanding Drama Series
I’ve never seen the Wire, but I feel like if I don’t say “The Wire” people will jump down my throat and say things like “HAVE YOU EVEN NOT EVER EVEN SEEN THE WIRE OR SOMETHING YOU DUMB IDIOT?” To which I’d respond, “Um no, I have not seen The Wire.” To admit this in 2010 is almost as embarrassing as being pantsed in middle school (really embarrassing) but you know, to be completely fair to the Emmys, I don’t know a single person who was watching it until the fourth season, either. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it deserve an Emmy nod? According to everyone, yes. So let’s run with it.
2. Charlie Day – Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
FX’s It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is currently on its sixth season, though episodes won’t be streaming online until October 16th. It’s a hit. It’s great. Everyone loves it, but I’m not giving props to the show (a show that does deserve props), I’m giving props to one of the men behind the curtain as a writer/creator who also exists in front of it as a man who huffs paint and eats cat food. Charlie Day’s “Charlie” might just be the funniest ducking character on television. I mean it’s not a bad category, but come on Emmys, Two and a Half Men‘s Jon Cryer was nominated and Charlie Day wasn’t!? That’s like nominating an episode of Two and a Half Men for the Oscar over The Godfather. Two and a Half Men isn’t even a movie! (I know, riiiight?)
3. The Simpsons – Outstanding Comedy Series
What!? The Simpsons was never nominated for an Emmy!? Bull! Right? Wrong. You are all wrong. The Simpsons has 68 nominations, actually. So why is it on this list? Good question. Last year everyone shouted, “Yippy skippy!” when UP was nominated for Best Picture at the Oscars. It made sense, I mean it made people cry and stuff, so everyone gave the Oscars a huge pat on the back and the Emmys were all like, “Hey, we can do this too! We can elevate an animated show to a “real” show!” But Y’ALL DUCKED UP, Emmys! Family Guy!? You nominated Family Guy?! I’m not going to tell you you’re wrong (you already know it), but you should have nominated The Simpsons. I know what the Emmy judges are thinking. The Simpsons aren’t amazing anymore. Doesn’t matter. Do you think the Academy said that when they gave the Oscar to Russel Crowe (no, not Russel Brand) for Gladiator just because he deserved it so much for The Insider? Give The Simpsons the Lifetime Achievement award for Outstanding Comedy Series or something. Anything! Just make this right.
4. Community – Outstanding Directing for a Comedy Series
When I was 16 I traveled to Boston to see this little indie film called Better Luck Tomorrow about a group of over-achieving Asian high school students who turn to a life of mischief and petty crime. It was pretty good. It was made by a guy named Justin Lin, who then went on to have an illustrious career of directing movies that I will never see (Annapolis, Fast and the Furious 3, Fast and the Furious 4, Fast and the Furious 5). I was kind of over him. That was until May 6th 2010, when 2010′s finest episode of television aired: Community’s Modern Warfare (also known as “The Paintball One”). This is the finest directed episode of comedic television I have ever seen. Justin Lin made me feel like I was in the middle of 28 Days Later and Rambo: First Blood II AT THE SAME TIME. Plus they have that amazing scene where the entire “will they, won’t they” of Jeff and Britta just happens, and we all move on and forget about it. That’s great direction. Why it didn’t get nominated? I HAVE NO IDEA! What did get nominated? I HAVE NO IDEA!
5. Katey Sagal - Any Actress Category
- Married… With Children (snubbed)
- Futurama (snubbed)
- Lost (snubbed)
- Sons of Anarchy (snubbed)
At this point in the game, 23 years into her illustrious television career, it’s pretty insane that Katey Sagal hasn’t scored a nom. Not as a comedienne, not as a voice actress, not as a guest star, and not as a lead dramatic actress. Her performance in Married… With Children MAY be the funniest female television performance of all time and she’s hitting it out of the park on Sons Of Anarchy. I mean sure, Sons of Anarchy looks like it has a pretty bright future, so we can only that hope Katey gets one next year or the year after that or the year after that. Bottom line is she’s amazing. Let’s rectify this, Emmys. I humbly ask that you please get yourself together and nominate this lady. Year after year I bet she’s asking herself, “what the hell?” and we couldn’t agree more, Katey. We couldn’t agree more.
6. Kurt Kroeber – Best Emmys’ Snub List
Whoops, how did that get in there?
