Everyone hates to see a beloved character bite the dust. If we’re lucky, they manage to utter a final thought before leaving this world for the next. Such is the case with the following examples of famous last words. Below you’ll find the sad, funny, and unexpected final musings from a collection of very different characters.
A warning: this post is spoiler heavy. Before we start, check the list below. It corresponds with the different shows that are discussed. Read about the shows you’re familiar with, skip the ones you’re not (and go watch them), then come back and read the rest of the post.
- Lost
- The Simpsons
- Star Trek: The Original Series
- Delocated
- The Wire
- Archer
- Seinfeld
- Twin Peaks
- South Park
- The Twilight Zone
Okay, now we’re going to Spoiler Town!
Lost: Exodus, Part 2.
Season 1, Episode 24
This is the moment that inspired this blog post. I remember the jolt of surprise and excitement I felt after Dr. Leslie Arzt suddenly exploded in the jungle at the end of the first season. Friends and I cheered and laughed and rewound the DVR. Did that really just happen? 
One minute Arzt is explaining the dangers of dynamite, the next he’s a ball of flame. Cut off mid sentence. Awesome way to go.
Famous Last Words: “All right, we’re not going to take anymore of this stuff than we need, because nitroglycerin is extremely temperamental. So we jus-“ – Dr. Leslie Arzt
The Simpsons: Homer’s Enemy
Season 8, episode 23
According to Entertainment Weekly, comedian and original Office creator/star Ricky Gervais calls this season 8 entry “the most complete episode” of the series. It’s also one of the darkest. Hank Azaria voices Frank “Grimey” Grimes, a recent addition to Sector 7-G who despises Homer and everything he stands for. Grimey completely loses it after Homer wins first prize in a nuclear power plant design contest meant for children only. He parades around the plant acting like Homer, and finds himself on the receiving end of an exposed electrical box.
Famous Last Words: “What’s this? ‘Extremely High Voltage.’ Well, I don’t need safety gloves, because I’m Homer Simp–“ - Frank “Grimey” Grimes
Star Trek: The Original Series: Friday’s Child
Season 2, Episode 11
Whenever the crew from The Enterprise left the ship for an expedition, they always brought along some expendable backup just in case of trouble. 
Fans of the original dubbed these unfortunates “Red Shirts” because of their similarly hued wardrobe. The tradition continued throughout all incarnations of Star Trek, even in the 2009 J.J. Abrams reboot. There are hundreds of Red Shirt deaths to choose from, but this particular one from Friday’s Child, which takes place before the opening credits, makes me laugh the hardest.
Famous Last Words: “A Klingon!” – Red Shirt
Delocated: Conversion
Season 2, Episode 2
This is a rare example where the last words are spoken after the character dies. The Russian Mob has murdered Jon’s best friend and personal bodyguard Mike. If that wasn’t enough, Jon’s son wants to get a sex change operation and his ex-wife is dating a new man. All of this pushes Jon over the edge. 
Mighty Joe Jon The Black Blond (Jerry Minor) decides the only thing that can bring him back is a pep talk from Mike. So he exhumes his body, puts him in a motorized wheelchair, and gets him to “talk” with a bullhorn and speaker. Jon falls for it hook, line and sinker. It’s like Weekend at Bernie’s but funny.
Famous Last Words: “Nah, that’s alright. I can get it. On my way out. Heyo. Okay.” – Mike, via Mighty Joe Jon The Black Blonde
The Wire: Late Editions
Season 5, Episode 9
Crime novelist George Pelecanos was The Wire’s Grim Reaper. Having the distinction of writing each season’s penultimate episode, Pelecanos was responsible for claiming the lives of many fan-favorite characters. In a show filled with memorable deaths, it was difficult to choose just one. But after spending time with such a hard ass like Felicia Pearson’s Snoop, watching her die at the hands of young Michael was unbearable. It didn’t help that her final line revealed a side of her character viewers had never before seen.
Famous Last Words: “How my hair look, Mike?” – Snoop
Archer: Killing Utne
Season 1, Episode 4
In this episode, Jeffrey Tambor guests as UN intelligence chairman Torvald Utne. 
With a cast that includes Jessica Walter and Judy Greer, this episode plays like a mini reunion for Arrested Development cast members. Malory, head of the spy agency ISIS, wants some UN contract work from Utne. She hosts a dinner party at her apartment in his honor, and sets up an elaborate plan that naturally goes awry. Utne is killed, the ISIS crew dumps the body in a neighboring apartment, and then heads back to Malory’s for some kladkaka (it’s a dessert with a funny name).
Famous Last Words: “When I am finished with ISIS, you won’t be able to get a contract for a prepaid mobile phone! I will tear you down, brick by perfidious brick!” – Torvald Utne
Seinfeld: The Invitations
Season 7, episode 24
Jason Alexander says that fans of his character George got angry with him twice during Seinfeld’s run. Once for eating an éclair out of a trashcan and once for buying the toxic wedding invitations that poisoned his fiancée to death. After Susan’s funeral, George tries to call Marisa Tomei and set up a date. She hangs up on him.
Famous Last Words: “Ugh! Awful!” – Susan Ross
Twin Peaks: The Condemned Woman
Season 2 Episode 16
David Lynch and Mark Frost’s revolutionary show was filled with over-the-top romances between major characters. 
Perhaps the most heartfelt belonged to Josie Packard and Sherriff Harry Truman, which made Josie’s passing so hard to believe. Also making it hard to believe: in one of the weirdest television deaths of all time, Josie’s essence is transferred into a piece of wooden furniture. You kind of have to watch to understand.
Famous Last Words: “Harry, forgive me. I never meant to hurt you.” – Josie Packard
South Park: Fishsticks
Season 13, Episode 5
After Jimmy’s joke about gay fish gains national attention, fellow comedian Carlos Mencia takes credit for it. The joke is then played on rapper Kanye West, who can’t understand what it means. Frustrated, Kanye confronts Mencia with some cronies and demands an explanation. Their confrontation is an example of South Park at its best: taking celebrities down a peg for over-inflated egos coupled with extreme violence.
Famous Last Words: “You’re a gay fish, man.” – Carlos Mencia
The Twilight Zone: The Gift
Season 3, Episode 32
In this classic episode written by Rod Serling, an alien in the guise of a human man named Williams appears in a small Mexican village. 
He befriends a young orphan named Pedro, and gives the boy a gift that Williams says will be revealed later on. The village bartender alerts the army of Williams’ presence. The soldiers surround him in the town square, with the entire village watching. He is shot dead out of fear, his gift to Pedro burned.
Like Delocated, this is another posthumous example. After the alien is killed, the town doctor picks up the partially burned gift and reads Williams’ note attached to it.
Famous Last Words: “Greetings to the people of Earth. We come as friends and in peace. We bring you this gift. The following chemical formula is a vaccine…a vaccine against all forms of cancer…” – Williams
But alas, the vaccine was burned by the rabid mob. Way to go, humans!
Now exiting Spoiler Town.
Which characters and their last words am I missing? Let me know!
