Rivaling The Simpsons and South Park as the greatest animated comedies of all-time, Family Guy has told its fair share of stories. Family Guy has the distinction of being the only television show ever to have been cancelled, and then brought back thanks to DVD sales. Since it is so beloved, it is worth it to take a look at Family Guy’s 10 best lessons in raising a dysfunctional family.
Lesson # 1: Be a Provider
Season 1, Episode 1, Death has a Shadow
It’s only fitting that the very first episode of Family Guy stressed the importance of providing for one’s family, even if the method involved cashing-in on a welfare mistake.
When Peter loses his job, he does what any good American who’s determined to feed his family would do; he goes on welfare immediately, instead of looking for a new gig. But when the very first check arrives for an astronomical $150,000 instead of $1,500, Lois suspects something is amiss. Though his methods may have been unconventional, Peter teaches us the importance of providing for our families, and isn’t afraid to take it however he can get it.
Lesson #2: Honor thy Father
Season 2, Episode 2, Holy Crap
The desire to please one’s parents is an instinct instilled in many of us from an early age. While it is a good idea to try to feed this desire, it is a bad idea to do so by kidnapping the Pope.
Although Peter forgets about using common sense or obeying international laws, he does remember to keep his father’s happiness a priority in life. Most adults feel the only way they can please their parents is by taking drastic action, and that’s why this episode serves as a reminder that sometimes it’s better to disappoint.
Lesson #3: Get A Dog, Because A Dog Will Love You
Season 2, Episode 4, Brian in Love
No television show has ever illustrated the value of a pet better than Family Guy.
After having a series of accidents that lead him to a psychiatrist, Brian discovers he is in love with Lois. This presents challenges on multiple levels (Lois is married, Peter is Brian’s best friend, Brian is a dog, etc), but Brian ultimately decides to share his feelings with Lois. Thankfully, she turns him down, because that could have gotten awkward. This episode ultimately teaches us that although all dogs make mistakes, their desire for love is what drives them, and no family should go without that kind of love.
Lesson #4: Vacation Often
Season 3, Episode 2, Brian Does Hollywood
Many families have dealt with the agony of a runaway dog. Fewer families have found their dog only to discover he’s started directing pornography in Los Angeles. The Griffins are one of those exceptional families.
Although this episode revolves primarily around Brian, it does a great job showcasing the value of a family adventure. A week away from the Griffin house is refreshing, regardless of circumstance. The Griffins remind us that every family deserves a vacation, no matter the pretense.
Lesson #5: Embrace Your Differences
Season 3, Episode 5, And the Wiener is…
The competition that can manifest between father and son will likely evolve into an ongoing battle for alpha dominance that rages on for life. In Family Guy‘s case, it’s a battle that is squashed as soon as Peter catches wind that Chris is well-endowed.
It’s a unique challenge, trying to accept the fact that your son is far more blessed than you are, but it is a challenge Peter handles with acceptance and grace…eventually. Although he reacts negatively at first, Peter’s resolution reminds us that a father’s love should be unconditional, even if he has to hand over his alpha-male status.
Lesson #6: Always Watch the Children
Season 4, Episode 16, The Courtship of Stewie’s Father
Childhood neglect often results in lonliness, abandonment, and in rare cases, homicidal tendencies. Stewie Griffin has never felt lonely or abandoned.
In an attempt to connect with Stewie, Peter takes his young son on a vacation to Disney World. Although vacations are always good, losing your child in the Temple of Doom is bad. And though everything turned out OK for the Griffins (as tends to be the case), the lesson here is that losing track of your child can lead to devastating consequences.
Lesson #7: Don’t be Afraid to Discuss the Birds and the Bees
Season 5, Episode 6, Prick Up Your Ears
Proper sex education is a valuable part of growing up. It’s probably more valuable, though, when that indelible conversation between parent and child is kept private and not put on display for 25 of the child’s classmates.
When Lois decides that Chris needs better sex education, she takes matters into her own hands by volunteering at the school as a sex ed teacher. The school quickly learns that Lois might just be a little too good at her job. Ultimately, though most of these conversations are better had behind closed doors, the lesson here is that having them at all is an important part of a family’s development.
Lesson #8: Don’t be Overbearing
Season 6, Episode 7, Peter’s Daughter
A protective father can make a daughter feel confident and safe, but a father who stalks his daughter is straight-up dangerous.
Sure, a father who asserts himself can deflect young boys who are out to take advantage of his daughter. When Peter goes overboard and becomes too intrusive in Meg’s life, her social life falls apart all together. Mission accomplished? Sort of. The lesson here is that it’s possible to be involved in your child’s life without suffocating her freedom. Meg’s social life might be over, but your child still has a shot at one.
Lesson #9: Be Good To Your Neighbors
Season 8, Episode 6, Quagmire’s Baby
Being good to your neighbors has always been an important family value. A good neighbor, if treated kindly, can actually become an integral part of your own family. In slightly more dysfunctional situations, though, a good neighbor can be a sex-addict who just found out he has a child.
Quagmire, television’s second most sex-crazed animated character ever (I’m looking at you, Sponge Bob), proves that age is just a number. It’s just a number used to designate the legal age of consent. It can be hard to care for someone who frequently needs to be hidden from the children, but the Griffins do it with grace and style. We can all learn a little something from their benevolence.
Lesson #10: It’s All About the Holidays
Season 3, Episode 16, A Very Special Family Guy Freakin’ Christmas
No matter how dysfunctional, bizarre, or warped a family is, there’s something about the holidays that makes everything feel better (even when the holidays make everything worse).
Whether or not the holidays are spent in a frenzy trying to recover lost presents, soothe paranoid babies, or tranquilize your completely out-of-control wife, the important part is that they are spent with family. It’s the one time of year when everyone can come together, put their differences aside, and try not to burn down the house.
